Mental Game Expert, Dr. Cohn
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Get Answers from Your Sports Psychology Expert
Get Answers from Your Sports Psychology Expert. As a Premium Member of peaksports, you can email Dr. Cohn questions about your
mental toughness challenges and get a detailed answer 365 days a year! Even
with regular membership, you can browse Dr. Cohn's mental game responses to
other members in the "Ask Dr. Cohn" section.
Here are some recent samples of an "Ask Dr. Cohn" Q and A: Sport Parent:
I was wondering what program would be most applicable for my son. He is 14 years old and a golfer. He spends a great deal of time practicing and is currently home schooled. The problem is when he encounters problems he gets frustrated and at times hits the clubs, and makes decisions without thinking clearly, such as repeatedly hit a shot into another hazard. He seems to lose focus. What program would you think we should purchase?Dr. Cohn's Answer:
Frustration with mistakes is a common challenge for many athletes. When not playing up to their expectations, they can become angry or frustrated. This leads to racing or rushing his shots and thus it seems as though he's lost his focus. He has lost focus, but the reason is that he's angry and in a hurry to make up for a bad shot or get the round over with.
Here are some options to look into:For Golfers:
http://www.peaksports.com/golfers_mental_edge.php For Young Athletes and Parents: http://www.peaksports.com/the_composed_sports_kid.php For Athletes: http://www.peaksports.com/the_composed_athlete.php
Tennis Player:
When I have game point (or even 40-love) on my serve I get nervous, start thinking too much, and end up double faulting and ultimately losing the game. Do you have any advice?
Dr. Cohn's Answer:
It sounds like you start thinking about the end result rather than focusing on the serve at hand. The trick is to treat every point with the same amount of focus, even when the match is yours to win (or lose). To stay consistent from point to point, regardless of score, develop a routine that helps you stay focused. This may mean going to your towel or straightening out your racquet strings. You can even come up with a phrase that you say before each serve such as, "keep the focus." These routines will help you to stay in the moment and execute naturally even when the pressure is on.
Tennis Player:
When I am playing badly I tend to beat myself up. I make awful unforced errors. Consequently I freeze up and play worse. How do I overcome this during a match?
Dr. Cohn's Answer:
You first have to stop being judgmental of your performance. You probably have high expectations and getdown on yourself when you don't perform up to those expectations. You have to keep hitting out on your shots. The errors are making you hold back in fear of making more errors, but that's not the answer. You have to trust you shots when you miss. Also, try changing your match plan and adopt a different strategy so you can get some momentum in the match.You should check out The Confident Athlete program, which helps you with this issue: http://www.peaksports.com/the_confident_athlete.php
Baseball Player:
I know I have the tools to be a great baseball player, but a lack of confidence has dragged on for a couple of years. It's funny because I think a lot in the field, but once a ground ball comes my way I just let go and react. However, when I go up to hit most of the time, I strike myself out with overthinking and a lack of confidence. Any suggestions?Dr. Cohn's Answer:
Sounds like you need to take the same mental approach at bat as you do in the field. This means you have to learn how to react to the ball instead of over thinking it. You should do all your training in the batter's cage or in practice. When you are in games, it's time to rely on your training and see the ball, hit the ball. Keep it simple in the box. Let your natural instincts, based on your training, take over. I think you will get better results, which will in turn help you feel more confident.You should check out The Fearless Athlete program, which helps you with this issue: http://www.peaksports.com/the_fearless_athlete.php
Cross Country and Track Athlete:
I run cross country and track. I perform well during practices, but when it comes to meets, I don't perform up to par. I think this could be from nervousness, and fear of failing. I am hopefully going to be a captain and from a recent sickness, I don't want to be a low varsity/upper tier JV runner. What can I do, and how can I relax? I'm afraid of disappointing my teammates, however I know I can do well but just can't get the right mindset.Dr. Cohn's Answer:
You can't get the right mindset because you are afraid of what your teammates think. The solution is to stop trying to impress your teammates and instead focus on good execution of each play. You are thinking too far ahead to what others will think if you make mistakes.I suggest you stop focusing on your position on the team as this adds to the problem of worrying about results and outcomes. You have to take one race at a time and do your best to become immersed into your time or rhythm on the track. Let go of the results.
Golfer:
I have a real problem with playing golf in tournaments. Normally, on the course or driving range (when I'm by myself), my shots are relaxed, fluid and I feel like I'm in control and score well. But the minute I started golfing with others or especially am placed in a tournament situation, I choke, stiffen up, cannot perform well and no matter WHAT I do, or how many calming influences I try including positive self talk, I STILL cannot settle myself down. I have read several books and articles on mental game preparation but cannot seem to get over this hurdle during competition. I'm close to giving up on competing!Dr. Cohn's Answer:
When you have trouble performing in front of others or with others in competition, it tells me you care too much about what others think about you or your game. Your ego is getting too involved, which means you are trying too hard to gain acceptance or not lose approval of others when you play.You are playing to impress others or gain respect from others, which we call social approval in my work. You have to start playing for yourself and not others. You fear of playing poorly is sabotaging your game, but it stems from your concern for what others think. Part of the solution is to have self-respect and thus you will not have the need to get it from others.
Softball Coach:
"How do I get my team to play like they practice? They practice very well, but in a game they tighten but and breakdown fundamentally."Dr. Cohn's Answer:
Many reasons exist why your team does not perform as well in games as they do in practice. Most of the time, the problem has to do with confidence and trust issues. The problem may also stem from how they practice. First, you want your team members to have great trust in their skills. If their fundamentals breakdown, they are trying too hard and not trusting what they learned. Second, doubt can undermine trust in their skills. If they are doubting their ability to perform well, it makes it that much harder to perform freely and intuitively. Lastly, you want your team to scrimmage as much as they drill. If you constantly drill them, they can't transfer that to games as well as scrimmages.
Basketball Coach:
"Athletes who sometimes show anger are in my opinion the most determined and motivated. Is there a way to channel the anger into positive outcomes during training and competition?Dr. Cohn's Answer:
I agree that athletes who display anger and often the most motivated and competitive in sports. And these are good traits to possess. But the most highly motivated athletes, usually perfectionists, often struggle with confidence, trust, and composure when they compete.For most athletes, anger does not help them perform and it's hard to say that it can turn into a positive outcome. When athletes become angry, they often make bad decisions and don't care about the outcome of the competition. For example, I've seen a lot of junior tennis players tank the second set because they were so angry for losing the first set. In rare cases, I do think athletes can use anger to help them get back on track and perform at a higher level. Most of these athletes lack intensity at the start of competition and when they become angered, the tend to improve their intensity and thus their focus. We have a new program to help young athletes cope better with anger and frustration titled, The Composed Sports Kid. Read more here: http://www.peaksports.com/the_composed_sports_kid.php
Track Athlete:
I'm thinking about joining the track team in college, however I'm nervous because I haven't ran in so long. I tend to get discouraged when I see girls who even look like they can be faster than me and I psych myself out before a race. How can I overcome this?Dr. Cohn's Answer:
When you make comparisons to other athletes, you're focusing on what makes your competitors better and what you are missing. You're thinking of what's wrong with you, which is not good for your confidence. It's likely you don't have enough confidence in your own skills to believe you can compete with the best athletes in your sport.First, don't look at your opponents during the warm-up to see how they're doing or what they're doing to prepare. Focus on your warm-up routine. Focus on what you need to do to get your job done. Second, don't put your opponents on a pedestal. When you put them on a pedestal, you look up to them and assume they are the best. You are in awe of them.
Hockey Goalie Coach:
"I'm a hockey goalie coach. Do you think it's a good thing, if after a bad goal, a goalie is allowed to let go out his frustration and behave like he is upset such as kicking the puck or breaking his stick? Or do you think he should keep his anger or frustration inside?"Dr. Cohn's Answer: No, I do not this letting out his anger is the right response to allowing a bad goal get by him--for two reasons. First, he wants his team to have confidence in him. If you gets upset and breaks his stick, his teammates can tell he's upset and might wonder if her can keep his composure for the rest of the game. They might even lose confidence in their goalie. So it does not help his team for sure. Should he keep his anger inside him or allow for a release of frustration? Both scenarios are not the best option. My preference would be he learns to control his emotions and not need to keep it inside or let it out. He would need to modify the way he thinks about mistakes. Instead of thinking, "I stink, I should never let in such an easy goal," he needs to change this to: "I'm not perfect. Even the best goalies let in an easy goal. Learn from it and move on." Thus, the best option is to stay calm on the inside and the outside. Holding in the anger will not solve his thinking process. And letting it out as a release does not help his teammates have confidence in him.
"How do I cope better with my mother as my coach?" Equestrian: "Do you had any tips for mentally preparing yourself for working with a coach who is also a parent. My mother has been my coach all my life and it has never been a big deal. But recently, we have increased my training in preparation for a Olympic level equestrian event. It has been tougher to have her constantly yell and criticize. Do you have any tips? Dr. Cohn's Answer: First, I think you should communicate with your mother about what you are feeling. You don't want to be yelled at or criticized at any time yet alone when you are preparing for a big event. You might discuss how she is hurting your confidence when you are criticized and come to an agreement about how to handle this issue. Also, as a sports parent myself, I understand how kids can take constructive criticism personally as an attack on the person. You have to be able to separate your "mom" from "coach." I think it's easier for you to take comments personally instead of more objectively when being coached by a parent. You will find a big difference between constructive criticism and someone attacking you for not doing well in training. Try to be more objective with the instruction you are taking from your mother. Keep in mind that her intentions are well-meaning. She wants you to do well. Sometimes, parents can be tougher on their own kids. Check out Kids' Sports Psychology for more tips: http://www.kidssportspsychology.com/
Golfer: "I just recently received a full ride golf scholarship to a Division 1 University. Although my season has not officially started, I am already feeling pressured to do well. I feel that I need to play well in order to maintain my scholarship or prove I deserve it. What should I do to take the pressure off myself?" Dr. Cohn's Answer: Congratulations on your accomplishment. I suggest you stay focused on the reasons you like to play golf and your goals for golf. You don't want to shift your attention to keeping your scholarship or proving to others you deserve it--this is not the best way to play golf. Besides, as you said, this is too much pressure. They gave you a scholarship for a reason--because you already deserve it! You'll need to focus on playing the game well, one shot at a time, and how you will improve your game each week. Let go of the need to impress others or make others happy with your golf game! Also, I suggest you check out The Golfer's Mental Edge: http://www.peaksports.com/golfers_mental_edge.php
Baseball Parent: "My 11-year-old son plays Baseball. He actually told me today for the second time is that he is nervous when he hits. And that he feels different in the game than he does when he is practicing. Is your program designed for kids of his age. He is a very good hitter arguably one of the best hitters in his age group. He and I practice together on drills and hitting. I, as a parent/coach, continue to struggle watching him struggle when he says he is nervous and cannot bring practice to the game." Dr. Cohn's Answer:
As a matter of fact, this is the number one reason why parents contact me -- their kids struggle taking their practice game to competition. He is nervous and feels different in the game because he's worried about results and his performance. This will cause athletes to tighten up and play tentatively or afraid to make mistakes. And practice drills do not always transfer over to game situations. I think that's part of the problem as well is that kids don't practice in the same competitive conditions of the game situation. I do offer mental coaching programs for kids as young as 11. To engage in personal coaching, your son has to be motivated to learn the mental game and understand why he's participated in the coaching. Some kids want to resist mental training thinking that it shows weakness. I also have other options for young athletes mental training. One option is Kids Sports Psychology. This is our online mental training program for parents and their young athletes. Here's the link to Kids' Sports Psychology: http://www.kidssportspsychology.com/
Hockey Parent: "I am writing about my son who plays in the OHL. He is an extremely good hockey player but he has a big issue with emotional control when things don't go right he breaks into tears and is unable to focus on the game and everything falls apart for him. How do I get him to change the frustration into positive behavior to make it easier for him?" Dr. Cohn's Answer:
You first need your players to buy into the idea of improving their composure and how it will help them. If they understand the need to improve their composure, this is a bonus and you're already ahead of the game. Athletes with high expectations lose composure both more quickly and more often. "Athletes' expectations" is defined as 'demands they have about the quality or outcome of their performance'. These are often the root of why they become frustrated with mistakes. You must help your athletes manage the expectations or absolute demands that they take into practice and competition ("I must," "I should," or "I have to"). Doing so sets the foundation to help them be less judgmental and more accepting of their mistakes. Instead of performing to meet their own expectations, a better option is to help them focus on simple tasks they can accomplish most often, thus they don't feel like they are under performing. These smaller goals, sometimes called mini-goals or process goals, help athletes focus on execution instead of results and to be more accepting of mistakes. I suggest you check out The Composed Sports Kid CD and workbook program: http://www.peaksports.com/the_composed_sports_kid.php Want to Boost Your Mental Toughness
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